Mom Brain

I feel like being a mother has made me wise in ways that no other experience could. But it's also made me unbelievably stupid.

Once upon a time, I could write a cogent 5-paragraph essay discussing the impact of Steinbeck's novels on post-war America, solve college-level physics problems, and simultaneously sight-read four lines of music in three different clefs--and that was all before lunchtime.

Now I'm lucky if I can complete a sentence without some help from my 6-year-old:

Me: "Go put your dishes in the. . .um. . .the thing that cleans the, uh, things we put food on."
Elizabeth: (snickering) "The dishwasher?"
Me: "Um, yeah."

You're probably thinking the above example was an exaggeration for effect (shoot, there's a name for that*). Sadly, it's not. Nouns in particular are difficult for me, whether it's my kids' names** or the names of everyday items such as the. . .oh, you know, that thing that keeps food cold.

I'm not saying this to imply that being a mom is a waste of my skills or brain power. On the contrary, I believe that what I'm doing is truly valuable, and in many ways it's very mentally stimulating. My major was in early childhood education, and believe you me, there's no better way to learn how children learn than to follow them in their daily lives. I was absolutely giddy with delight at watching Elizabeth learn to read; it really is fascinating to watch the process, up close and personal. I guess one way to look at these last 6 years would be as a very long, very intense lab experience. Still, there's no denying that I've forgotten an awful lot of what I used to know.

What counts, I suppose, is that I remember the important things. I have committed to memory the phone numbers of Elizabeth's best friends, the PBS morning lineup, and the words to more picture books than I'd care to admit. I can tell you the incubation period and symptoms of the ten most common childhood illnesses. I've learned ways to coax even the most recalcitrant three-year-old into getting dressed. I can (and do) change diapers without fully waking up. I can simultaneously wrangle three children while grocery-shopping with a budget and without a list. I know where the binky is. So maybe my brain's not so flabby after all.

And when's the last time I needed to solve a quadratic equation, anyway?


*Hyperbole! Ha! Score one for me.

**I always mix up the girls' names, but that's to be expected. Poor Ben, though, has to contend with me forgetting not his name, but his gender. By day I do just fine, but come 2 AM when I'm handing him to Jared, I inevitably find myself saying, "Could you change her diaper?"