Sometimes I feel woefully underqualified to be the parent of a preschooler. You'd think a degree in early childhood education would be plenty. It's not:
Conversation 1
Elizabeth: Mommy, what do mommy horses do?
Me: They walk around and eat grass and neigh. . .just horse stuff.
E: No, I mean, how do they make baby horses?
Me: Well, the baby horse grows in the mommy's tummy, and then when it's ready to be born it comes out.
E: I know, but where does it come out?
I should've majored in animal husbandry.
Conversation 2
(We're driving home from the store where Elizabeth saw some candy she wanted to buy, and I'm explaining how much it costs.)
Me: You know what a penny is, right? Well, a penny is worth one cent.
Elizabeth: What's a cent?
Me: It's one penny. One penny is the same thing as one cent. A dollar bill is worth 100 pennies, or 100 cents.
E: Well, where do dollar bills come from? Does the bank make them?
No, wait, make that economics. . .
(Conversation 2 continued)
Me: No, honey, the bank doesn't make money. The government does.
E: What's the government?
Me: It's the people who take care of the country. Like the president.
E: What's a president? Does the president make the money?
. . .with a minor in political science.
Conversation 3
Me: Here, put some Purell on your hands before you eat that.
Elizabeth: It kills the germs, huh?
Me: Yes, it does.
E: How does it kill the germs?
Chemistry and microbiology might have helped, too.
I've decided I'm going to start outsourcing my job. Next time you see our number on your Caller ID, you can expect to hear Elizabeth on the line with a question (or ten) for you.
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5 comments:
You obviously taught your daughter the Socratic Method.
har-de-har-har
....aah, I am SO glad those days are long gone...all I have to dispense now are answers to cooking questions.
Wait until she starts asking everyone she meets how much money they make & if they are poor. Or asks strangers why they are so fat. Those are the golden moments of motherhood.
Or wait until teaching your toddler anatomically correct words for body parts bites you in the gluteus: Mommy, is Vivi eating your nipple? said in front of the complete random stranger. Yes, son. Yes, Vivi is eating my nipple. Thank you for announcing it.
Awesome stuff. I love kids: young, impressionable, assuming the best-of-intentions... what a great canvas...
"Run! Crotos is attacking the city, we must flee!" (word verification today)
Yeah, and when she's about thirteen she'll ask, "Mom, is this a hicktown?"
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